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    <pubDate>Sun, 14 Mar 2010 10:33:51 +0000</pubDate>

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<title><![CDATA[Porn emporium's Nobel nomination prompts DSTV rethink]]></title>
<link>http://www.hayibo.com/articles/view/1251</link>
<description><![CDATA[The planet&#39;s largest purveyor of pornography, the world wide web, has been nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize, prompting both South Africa&#39;s religious right and frigid left, to reconsider their attempts to get DSTV&#39;s proposed porno channel banned.]]></description>
<pubDate>Fri, 12 Mar 2010 00:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
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<title><![CDATA[Zuma to be known as 'Big Pimpin' Mack Daddy' in Cele-inspired title reshuffle]]></title>
<link>http://www.hayibo.com/articles/view/1250</link>
<description><![CDATA[Police Commissioner Beki Cele&#39;s instruction to parliament on Tuesday to call him &#39;General&#39; henceforth has prompted a flurry of other top officials demanding the right to pick their own title, including a request from the President&#39;s office that he be referred to as &#39;the Big Pimpin&#39; Mack Daddy Jacob Zuma&#39; in all contexts from now on.]]></description>
<pubDate>Thu, 11 Mar 2010 00:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
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<title><![CDATA[Winnie slams Gandhi, lays into Buddha and Jesus]]></title>
<link>http://www.hayibo.com/articles/view/1249</link>
<description><![CDATA[After her recent attack on former husband Nelson Mandela and Archbishop Emeritus Desmond Tutu, whom she described as a betrayer of the African people and as a &ldquo;cretin&rdquo; respectively, Winnie Madikizela-Mandela has gone on to accuse a long list of historical pacifist figures as &ldquo;a bunch of namby-pamby girly-boys&rdquo; and &ldquo;limp-wristed wusses&rdquo;.]]></description>
<pubDate>Wed, 10 Mar 2010 00:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
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<title><![CDATA[Zuma slams Palace Guards for mocking his grossly distended skull]]></title>
<link>http://www.hayibo.com/articles/view/1247</link>
<description><![CDATA[President Jacob Zuma has accused Buckingham Palace guards of mocking his grotesquely distended skull by wearing long furry helmets whenever they accompanied him in public. Meanwhile doctors agree that the President&#39;s skull is still lengthening, largely as a result of him wedging his head up Julius Malema&#39;s bottom.]]></description>
<pubDate>Mon, 08 Mar 2010 00:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
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<title><![CDATA[Lost Zimbabwe Jewish tribe confirms roots with guilt-trips, stay-at-home sons]]></title>
<link>http://www.hayibo.com/articles/view/1248</link>
<description><![CDATA[Researchers have confirmed that Zimbabwe&#39;s Lemba people have ancient Jewish roots, with sons living at home until their 30s and worried mothers urging their adult children to dress more warmly and to finish their soup because people are starving in Africa. Meanwhile Robert Mugabe says he wants their Ark to &quot;implode the British&quot;.]]></description>
<pubDate>Mon, 08 Mar 2010 00:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
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<title><![CDATA[Ox-wagons could return as more manufacturers recall cars]]></title>
<link>http://www.hayibo.com/articles/view/1246</link>
<description><![CDATA[As Chevrolet become the latest manufacturer, after Toyota, Honda, Ford and Nissan, to recall vehicles in 2010, a spokesperson for the Afrikaans Taal en Kultuur Vereniging, said his organisation&#39;s stand-point that the ox-wagon was phased out prematurely&nbsp;had been proved correct.]]></description>
<pubDate>Fri, 05 Mar 2010 00:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
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<title><![CDATA[Top Billing: "Chile is so Haiti right now"]]></title>
<link>http://www.hayibo.com/articles/view/1245</link>
<description><![CDATA[Top Billing is set to declare Chile &quot;this season&#39;s Haiti&quot; on tonight&#39;s show, with socialite Khanyi Mbau embarking on a mercy mission to Santiago to deliver moist towelettes to Chileans who have lost everything. Meanwhile Jeannie D will show viewers how to get that &#39;Chile chic&#39; earthquake-devastated look in their own home.]]></description>
<pubDate>Thu, 04 Mar 2010 00:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
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<title><![CDATA[Porn fans 'let down' by Minister of Arts and Culture]]></title>
<link>http://www.hayibo.com/articles/view/1244</link>
<description><![CDATA[Arts and Culture Minister Lulu Xingawa caused an internet sensation yesterday when news broke that she had declared an exhibition at Constitution Hill &quot;immoral&quot; and &quot;pornographic&quot; for its inclusion of photographs of &quot;naked lesbians&quot;, words which cranked up the gallery&#39;s page-ranking on Google substantially.]]></description>
<pubDate>Wed, 03 Mar 2010 00:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
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<title><![CDATA[Danny Jordaan locks himself in toilet as he discovers 100 days is three months]]></title>
<link>http://www.hayibo.com/articles/view/1243</link>
<description><![CDATA[Local World Cup kingpin Danny Jordaan has locked himself in his toilet and is refusing to come out after an aide accidentally told him that 100 days is just over three months. Jordaan was apparently under the impression that he had &quot;loads of time&quot; before the World Cup kick-off. A team of plumbers has been called to the scene.]]></description>
<pubDate>Mon, 01 Mar 2010 00:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
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<title><![CDATA[Malema: 'The dog ate my tax returns']]></title>
<link>http://www.hayibo.com/articles/view/1242</link>
<description><![CDATA[Instant millionaire Julius Malema says his last few tax returns are not available for scrutiny because the dog ate them. Meanwhile he has accused a reporter of faking his signature, despite testimony from skeptical forensic experts who say that it is almost impossible to forge a thumbprint.]]></description>
<pubDate>Sun, 28 Feb 2010 00:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
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