Hayibo.com - SA savers prefer dust-mites to bankers, mattress sales soar

SA savers prefer dust-mites to bankers, mattress sales soar

CAPE TOWN. As Finance Minister Pravin "Trevor Lite" Gordhan prepares a grim budget speech, the mattress industry continues to enjoy record growth. According to industry analyst Vuyani Narkolepsi, people have lost faith in the banking system but still need somewhere to put their money and trust dust mites more than bankers.

Gordhan is reportedly struggling to balance his budget as bills for Ministers' luxury cars pile up and company profits plunge. According to insiders the fiscal deficit for 2009 is likely to be R70bn, of which R69bn was spent on a weekend away for senior police officials.

But despite the bad news, mattress manufacturers and dealers are enjoying record profits.

"It's a very comfortable arrangement," said Narkolepsi. "The only thing that should come between a bread-winner and his money is his mattress.

"And his alimony and child support payments. And his bond installments."

Narkolepsi said there were many benefits of using the 'mattress method' for saving.

"There's a once-off fee but then it's free after that. No bank charges, no minimum balance requirements, no cash-in-transit concerns.

"And SARS is unlikely to know what you've earned, unless you're sleeping with an auditor, in which case you deserve everything that's coming to you."

Asked whether dust mites or bed-bugs could eat into savings, Narkolepsi said that most people preferred dust mites to bankers.

"They're very different creatures. One is a blood-sucking parasite who lives on the scabs of society, has an incredibly underdeveloped brain and scuttles around in the dark.

"The other is an insect that lives in your bed."