Hayibo.com - Apple to launch iPedi in SA

Apple to launch iPedi in SA

JOHANNESBURG. Hot on the heels of the launch of Apple's much-hyped iPad in the US last week, industry insiders today revealed that the technology giant is testing a Julius Malema-targeted device tentatively called the iPedi, a hand-held touchscreen interpretive device for translating imperialistic Western concepts into Pedi.

"We think there's a real gap in the market," said sources close to Apple CEO Steve Jobs. "Or maybe just in Julius's head. Our Research & Development teams aren't quite sure yet."

The gadget will provide clear definitions of notions and ideas with which Malema has been known to struggle in the past. Clarifying information on each entry is displayed on its 42-inch touchscreen monitor via pop-up scratch 'n sniff illustrations and colourful cartoon mice who sing definitions in squeaky helium-balloon voices.

Definitions are offered of racist notions and phrases imported by evil white colonialists.

"The glossary was compiled by shouting words at Malema and seeing which ones made his face go all sad-like," explained Jobs.

The list includes entries for "hermaphrodite", "homosexuality", "rational debate", "fatty fatty boom boom" and "huge blimmin' suck-up".

A complimentary prototype was yesterday delivered to Malema's office, which is currently located in the second booth on your left as you enter the Newtown KFC.

When asked about Steve Jobs' initiative, Malema expressed enthusiasm.

"I am in favour of Jobs," he said. "Jobs is our number one preferred solution to the problem of unemployment."

"And I like the mice because they sing funny," he chuckled, mashing his palm against the screen.

Malema's iPedi arrived together with auxiliary plug-and-play add-on device, the iProd, a short stick which Malema's minders will be able to poke him with to indicate that he's had enough Johnnie Walker Blue.