Hayibo.com - SA Communist Party calls for calm amid reports Berlin Wall has come down

SA Communist Party calls for calm amid reports Berlin Wall has come down

PRETORIA. The South African Communist Party as called on its members to stay indoors and to refrain from making eye contact with the bourgeoisie after party leadership received a memo on the weekend advising them that the Berlin Wall had been breached by capitalist stooges.

According to SACP spokesman Elvis Ndala, the news broke as senior party members were settling into a pre-lunch finger buffet designed to heighten the proletariat's awareness of soaring food prices.

He said that nobody had panicked or expressed shock, although he admitted that "some Comrades allowed themselves a moment of socialistic contemplation, which looks a bit like shock, because your mouth tends to hang open."

However, he said, the party leadership quickly regained its composure and acted "decisively", scooping as many sausage rolls and miniature milk-tarts into briefcases as they could, which he said was in line with the Party's policy on not tolerating the squandering of resources.

"One of our mottos is 'Leave no worker behind'," said Ndala. "But if you can't find a worker – and to be fair there are almost no workers in Parliament – at least leave no sausage rolls behind."

He said that senior leadership was concerned by reports that the Berlin Wall has been dismantled, but added that they would wait for verification by "non-contaminated news sources."

"We are currently waiting for some news from our comrades in the Soviet media," said Ndala, "but for some reason we can't get through to the Comrade Editor of Pravda." According to Ndala, the number he had always used now connected to something called Filthy Ludmila's House of Kink, which he assumed was some sort of panel-beating operation.

Meanwhile the party has released a statement condemning the breaching of the wall as a "crime against masonry", and has instructed its members to ignore rumours that the Soviet Union is considering giving East Germany limited autonomy.