Hayibo.com - Australians celebrate ethnic diversity

Australians celebrate ethnic diversity

CANBERRA. Australians of all ethnic groups have come together to mark Australian Diversity Day, celebrating the country's rich history and diverse ethnic heritage. According to government organizers, special attention is being given to Australia's native tribes – the Welsh, the Scots, the Irish, the Northern Irish, the southern Welsh, and the Highland Scots.

Asked if Aborigines were being included in ADD celebrations, spokesman Russell Dag said he would not "respond to the f****ing Spanish Inquisition of the politically correct asking f***king subversive questions".

However he confirmed that the nation's Aborigines had been invited to join celebrations in Canberra, on condition that they paid for their own bus tickets, promised to use cutlery at the reception, and refrained from "doing any of that creepy Dreamtime song-and-dance bullshit" in their motel rooms.

He said the invitation had been declined.

He added that the "continued childish standoffishness of the Aboriginalese" was a source of pain and frustration for the government, despite its best efforts to improve the Aborigines' lot by "teaching their children the value of a good forward defensive and how to spot a well-flighted googly".

"We are deeply disappointed that they have chosen not to join us in celebration of the great melting pot that is Australia, where vanilla ice-cream melts together with white chocolate, icing sugar, coconut milk, and a bit of salt".

However, he said, officials did not want "a small bunch of cry-babies daubing shitty paintings of shitty lizards on shitty rocks" to spoil the day for those "who made Australia what it is".

The slogan of Australian Diversity Day is 'Australia: A Home For All, Even Asians', and Dag said his government was proud of Australia's history of being a place of refuge for the oppressed.

"Throughout the history of mankind, this country has opened her arms to lost souls from all over the world seeking to make a new life on her sun-kissed shores," he said.

He later conceded that "throughout the history of mankind" referred to the latter part of the 18th century, and that "from all over the world" referred specifically to the northern British Isles.

"But it's the thought that counts, you f***wits," he told journalists.

Meanwhile the Australian government has confirmed that National Self-Examination of Racial Awareness Day, scheduled for July 19, has been moved to July 23, 2013.