July 2009
Obama crushes children's dreams of being first black president

NEW YORK. African American children throughout the United States have greeted Barack Obama's electoral victory with tears and bewilderment. According to fifth grade teacher Shirley Williams, black children "dared to dream that one day they would be the first African American president of the US. Now the dream has gone belly up."

"Rosa Parks, Malcolm X, Dr King, Jessie Jackson…these were men and women who kept the hope alive," said Williams.

"Obama has taken all that away."

This morning President-elect Obama took time out from his schedule to speak on his autobiography, 'The Audacity of Hope', with Mrs Williams's history class at the Harlem Elementary School.

"From this day on, you must know that you can achieve anything," Obama told the fifth graders, his head tilted slightly upwards.

"Except what I've done. That one's been taken."

The students stared in dismay at the underside of his chin.

"If there is anyone out there," continued Obama, "who still believes they can be the first black president of this great nation – this is your answer."

Mr Obama then flashed his trademark dazzling smile to his devastated audience of preteens, before leaving for his next appointment accompanied by a subdued rendition of Hail To The Chief, performed by Mrs Clarice Peabody's eighth grade wind band.

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