Outraged patients of a traditional healer plans to sue for malpractice, saying that the healer used the wrong concoction of pickled honey-badger penis and paint-stripper. “I wanted to be cured of bad luck, but something went wrong with his spells and instead I was afflicted with a low bank balance,” said one patient, who wished to remain anonymous.
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Italian sports-car manufacturer Maserati has described as “groundbreaking and chassis-bending” reports that Khulubuse Zuma, who his own gravitational field, was allegedly clocked at 181kmh in his convertible on the weekend. Meanwhile President Zuma’s nephew has defended his driving, saying his was practising for when the workers wise up and he has to get the hell out of Dodge.
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Following the deaths last weekend of more than 30 million soldiers in the popular multiplayer video game Battlefield 3, a group of concerned video game characters is lobbying major global military powers to implement stricter regulation of real world violence. The group believes that “excessive, gratuitous, and mostly pointless violence all over the place” is responsible for alarming increases in video game-based violence over the last decade.
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As temperatures soar in the Western Cape, Cape Town’s hipsters are struggling to keep cool in a “post-cool” world. According to the city’s hipsters, who are most commonly found clustered around a Vida e or leaning against a graffitied brick wall jamming on their ukeleles, the ongoing heat-wave has left them struggling to cope both physically and conceptually.
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As Wikipedia prepared to black out its site for 24 hours on Wednesday in protest against anti-piracy legislation, a state of emergency was declared in however many countries there are in the world, a question only Wikipedia now has the answer to. “We must come to terms with the fact that Wikipedia is currently the vault of all human knowledge,” said communications academic Egbert Dorklestein. “Without it, we are basically back to wallowing in the primordial soup.”
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Aries Mar 21 – Apr 19 As an Aries your relationships are ruled by the planet Venus: your lover is incredibly hot, fiery, and extremely poisonous. Read more
With the war in Iraq two years old and home-front morale flagging, US Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld went on a charm offensive in Washington, launching the ill-fated “We’re... Read more
