JOHANNESBURG. The SABC says the end of the World Cup “kind of snuck up” on it and that it “hasn’t really thought about” what it will show once the tournament ends. However, this morning a spokesman said an intern had been sent to the basement to find 4,000 episodes of Liewe Heksie which would air until 2015.
“It’s all been so ayoba, we just kind of assumed it would last forever,” said spokesman Cathode Sexwale.
“There’s a big year planner in the break room next to the vending machine and a few months ago someone wrote ‘Waka waka! Ayoba! Ka Nako! The banana Sterri Stumpies are off’ all across the second half of the year,” said Sexwale.
“We thought the thing about the Sterri Stumpies was probably about the vending machine and not the World Cup, but we kind of assumed that the rest was official SABC scheduling.”
Sexwale said that there had been an “initial panic” that had seen some of the younger interns throw up on the 2003 season of Law and Order that had just been delivered on ten VHS cassettes.
But, he added, SABC leadership had immediately formulated a plan of action and had sent an intern into the basement to fetch emergency programming.
“He came back with the 1988 season of Airwolf, but management vetoed it on the grounds that it might give the police ideas,” said Sexwale.
“Given that their current training is based on a combination of season two of The A-Team and season nine of the Teletubbies, the last thing we want is Bheki Cele in a helicopter gunship.”
He said five seasons of clay-mation legend Morph had also been sent back to the vault.
“Morph doesn’t wear clothes, and there were concerns that Arts and Culture Minister Lulu Xingwana might think it was filthy amorphous pornography.”
He said that in the end it had been a toss-up between a video of Andrea Bocelli singing ‘Nessun Dorma’ on a barge made of rosebuds in an ornamental lake in Las Vegas, and 4,000 episodes of Liewe Heksie.
“We went with the white witch,” said Sexwale. “Bocceli is a genius, but people might start getting a bit punchy after four or five months.”
