JOHANNESBURG. The ANC Disciplinary Committee that passed judgement on Julius Malema have admitted to getting the idea of Anger Management classes after watching the hit film starring Jack Nicholson and Adam Sandler on eTV on Sunday night. A spokesperson for Malema said the Youth League leader was relieved that eTV had not been showing ‘Terminator’.
Malema was hit with a fine and made to apologise for his actions. He was also tasked with attending anger management classes where he will reportedly spend time shadow boxing with a Helen Zille doll, drawing pictures of leaves and completing tender applications on behalf of the companies he does not own.
Malema has promised to pay more attention in anger management than he did in woodwork classes.
“Anger management is all about empowering the individual,” said expert Snotklap Visagie. “The aim will be to make him feel loved.”
Visagie said that in this regard Jacob Zuma would be prevailed on to visit Malema as often as possible to give him fatherly hugs and comradely back pats.
He added that if Malema was feeling really cross, perhaps the whole National Executive Committee could squeeze into the building to administer a giant group hug.
A spokesperson for Malema, Nuggets Sibanda, said the more hugs that came the way of the Youth League leader, the better. “Because it’s a known fact that chicks dig angry young men.
“Julius got himself elected as leader of the Youth League so he could underline his status as a young man, despite the fact that he is closer to 40 than he is to a teenager,” he said.
Sibanda said now that Malema’s ‘angry credentials’ had also been established they were expecting a flood of hugs, and perhaps a whole lot more.
Asked if Malema wouldn’t have found it easier to attract girls the EMO way, by dressing in black and listening to Gothic music, Sibanda said Malema had already experimented with that route.
But he said that period of Malema’s life was not up for discussion as it was even more embarrassing than the current period of his life.
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