Hayibo

The Post Office has expressed it’s dissatisfaction at FIFA’s ticketing process after admitting to parliament that it was forced to spend R800 000 to acquire 500 World Cup tickets. “It would have been much easier if we could have stolen them at the sorting depot like we normally do,” said spokesperson Freeload Rudolph.

Bafana Bafana, who have slipped to 90th place in FIFA’s world rankings, last night scored a rare 2-0 victory, over the Jamaican football team in Germany. South African soccer officials confessed after the match that the win can be largely attributed to the enormous bankie of ganja Bafana Bafana managed to coerce the Jamaican team into smoking before the game.