As ANC Youth League president Julius Malema continues to champion the cause of the poor by building a double-storey house in Sandton, contractors have confirmed that Malema wants his new “cadre crib” fireproofed, just in case angry township residents mistake him for a councilor rather than an unelected profiteer riding the gravy train straight to diabetes.
The ANC Youth League says the only way to stop water falling from the sky across South Africa is to award another R40-million pharmaceutical tender to Julius Malema’s cousin in Limpopo, adding that sky-water, like bad luck and erectile dysfunction, could be cured. Meanwhile the DA has revealed that the rain is in fact God’s tears after He was “thrashed” in an arm-wrestling contest by Helen ‘The Hammer’ Zille.
President Jacob Zuma, responding to Julius Malema’s statement on Monday that former president Thabo Mbeki was the “best leader ever”, has docked the ANC Youth League leader’s pocket money and cut his weekly pornography allocation. Malema sought yesterday to minimise damage by clarifying that Zuma remained superior via the principle of “first is the worst, second is the best”.
ANC ‘Youth League’ President and raconteur Julius Malema, has been honoured for his cultural services to the nation’s artistic and political landscape by scooping the coveted South African Satirist Of The Year award at a glittering gala ceremony held in Rosebank last night.
The ANC Disciplinary Committee that passed judgement on Julius Malema have admitted to getting the idea of Anger Management classes after watching the hit film starring Jack Nicholson and Adam Sandler on eTV on Sunday night. A spokesperson for Malema said the Youth League leader was relieved that eTV had not been showing ‘Terminator’.
ANC Youth League leader and hate speaker Julius Malema visited hip hop wannabe and kid killer Jub Jub in prison on Monday to discuss launching a reality TV show based on Paris Hilton’s The Simple Life. Their show will be called The Simple Men.
President Jacob Zuma has defended Julius Malema’s call for genocide, saying that the ANC will widen its repertoire soon with the release of new songs calling for various minorities to be slaughtered. He confirmed that the list, based on Malema’s personal terrors, would include cross-dressing dwarves, mime artistes and girls.
