Hayibo

PRETORIA. The ANC Youth League has dismissed evidence of Julius Malema’s dismal academic career, saying that the ANCYL is “about the collective and not the individual”. However education officials have confirmed that Malema achieved an H for standard grade Mathematics in Matric, suggesting that he probably can’t tell the difference between concepts of “one” and [...]

PRETORIA. After Friday’s court ruling that effectively prevents Jacob Zuma from being prosecuted for corruption, his supporters have confirmed that the judiciary is completely transformed and democratic. “On Friday morning the judiciary was a snake pit of racist conspirators,” said spokesman Necklace Mpundu, “but on Friday afternoon it emerged as a revolutionary cadre.” Mpundu said [...]

PRETORIA. The ANC is in turmoil again after allegations surfaced last night that Jacob Zuma, Youth League president Julius Malema and Cosatu chairman Zwelinzima Vavi are closet Democratic Alliance supporters. “No-one, not even Helen Zille in her wildest dreams, has done more than these three to weaken the ANC and besmirch the legacy of Sisulu [...]

PRETORIA. Reports that a luxury sedan belonging to ANC Youth League leader Julius Malema was broken into have thrown the organization into disarray. According to ANCYL insiders, the discovery that Malema drives a Mercedes and not a traditional BMW has left cadres feeling betrayed, and many are calling for Malema to be disciplined for breaking [...]