The government says they are seriously considering changing the name of Youth Day, which is celebrated as a public holiday in South Africa on 16th June, in order to reflect the current age of the original participants.
Zimbabwean despot Robert Mugabe says that Iceland’s volcanic eruption is “God farting on Europe”. He also confirmed that Zimbabwe’s top scientists are developing a prototype “liberation volcano” into which British agents would be tossed, although insiders concede it is currently just a pizza oven with small shrubs stapled to it.
CAPE TOWN. Zimbabwe Prime Minister Morgan Tsvangirai met with President Jacob Zuma on Thursday to ask for his help and to explain his reasons for withdrawing from Zimbabwe’s coalition government. “Working with Mugabe is like dancing with the devil in the pale moonlight – it’s nice from far, but far from nice,” he said. Tsvangirai [...]
HARARE. Undead Zimbabwean president Robert Mugabe is reportedly receiving medical treatment in Dubai after coming into contact with holy water and garlic. According to Mugabe’s surgeons, the 85-year-old sustained third-degree burns from the water after a demon-hunter doused him in it while he was sucking the immortal soul from a baby in a sewer. Mugabe [...]
MBABANE. As US President Barack Obama arrives in Ghana for his first official visit to Africa, King Mswati of Swaziland has threatened to marry any Swazi woman who tries to scream for help. Meanwhile in Zimbabwe Robert Mugabe has ordered the Adult Diapers of State to be dry-cleaned in case Obama visits. So far Obama [...]
HARARE. Zimbabwean dictator Robert Mugabe says he will be eternally grateful to South African election monitors for allowing him to pillage his country for as long as he has, and has offered to return the favour by monitoring Wednesday’s general election in South Africa, teaching “naïve and idealistic” IEC officials how to set ballot boxes [...]
HARARE. Zimbabwean despot Robert Mugabe will confer official war veteran status on 500,000 teenaged boys this weekend as part of his 85th birthday celebrations, after it emerged that the last genuine veteran of the liberation war died of cholera this morning. The new war veterans will be tasked with “rebuilding Zimbabwe by hitting MDC pigs [...]
