Hayibo

South Africa has finally recognised Libya’s rebel council, saying it initially got confused because “they looked like somebody else”. The African Union has also confirmed that they are mere days away from recognising the United States of America as a separatist outpost of the United Kingdom.

NEW YORK. As tensions continue to rise between Iran and the West, the media has urged the United States and its allies to ‘get on with it already,’ saying they are desperate for a proper war to help boost their ratings. A spokesperson for CNN, Jarvis Cheeseman said the major networks deserved more from the [...]

JOHANNESBURG. Hillary Clinton says Barack Obama’s administration considers Africa a sovereign country, and as such it is time for the United States to be honest about the continent’s future. “It’s not looking awesome,” conceded Clinton. “I probably owe it to you guys to tell you that we’re kind of planning to eat most of your [...]

WASHINGTON DC. US President Barack Obama has reassured the free world that while stopping nuclear aggression by Iran and North Korea and addressing global warming are on his agenda, his primary concern is to continue the legacy of Michael Jackson. “Say hello to your new King of Pop,” said the President this morning, moonwalking into [...]

JOHANNESBURG. According to South African officials, the national football team is as powerful as the United States military “because they couldn’t beat Iraq either”. Meanwhile the team says it was confused by the Young Communists League’s call for it to play with “militancy and radicalism”, as the laws of football do not allow for the [...]

MERDE. African dictators say they are disappointed that after 100 days in office US President Barack Obama is still showing no signs of embracing his roots by adopting a traditional African leadership style, featuring aviator sunglasses, an oversized Brigadier’s uniform covered with medals, and a private zoo containing one mangy lion called Simba. Obama still [...]

HAVANA. Former Cuban dictator Fidel Castro has confirmed that he is planning to reinstate himself as leader after hearing that US President Barack Obama gave Queen Elizabeth II an iPod as an official gift. According to a spokesman, the 1990s have just hit Cuba and Castro is keen to download Kenny G and Michael Bolton [...]