Hayibo

ANC ‘Youth League’ President and raconteur Julius Malema, has been honoured for his cultural services to the nation’s artistic and political landscape by scooping the coveted South African Satirist Of The Year award at a glittering gala ceremony held in Rosebank last night.

The ANC’s top brass has announced that it will be charging Youth League leader Julius Malema after all – with being awesome.

CAPE TOWN. The Youth League of the Democratic Alliance has demanded that Constantia mining heiress Bethany Smyth-Fourie be nationalized and shared by everyone, and has threatened grassroots rolling mass action in the hospitality industry if its demands are not met. Insiders believe this will involve pulling a heavy roller across the lawn of a wine [...]

JOHANNESBURG. ANC Youth League commissar Julius Malema says he will dress up as himself for Halloween this year, ending speculation that he was going to dress up as a pair of lips stuck to Jacob Zuma’s buttocks. According to Malema he is also going to pioneer a new Halloween tradition called Trick or Treat or [...]

PRETORIA. The ANC Youth League has dismissed evidence of Julius Malema’s dismal academic career, saying that the ANCYL is “about the collective and not the individual”. However education officials have confirmed that Malema achieved an H for standard grade Mathematics in Matric, suggesting that he probably can’t tell the difference between concepts of “one” and [...]

PRETORIA. Inspired by the historic firing of the Large Hadron Collider in Switzerland, the ANC Youth League says it intends building a similar device to explore, at a subatomic level, the bias of the media and the judiciary against Jacob Zuma. According to a spokesman, this would be done by colliding newspaper editors and judges [...]

PRETORIA. Reports that a luxury sedan belonging to ANC Youth League leader Julius Malema was broken into have thrown the organization into disarray. According to ANCYL insiders, the discovery that Malema drives a Mercedes and not a traditional BMW has left cadres feeling betrayed, and many are calling for Malema to be disciplined for breaking [...]