The gentle, pastoral, and profoundly lame world of emo teens was rocked in 2005 as Matthew Niblick pointed out a glaring plot hole in the 'Lord of the Rings' trilogy. 

Writing under his online pseudonym of Woodelf Wolfsbane, Niblick committed emo heresy by questioning orthodox Tolkein in favour of a more pragmatic view. 

"I just asked the guys on our forum: if Gwahir the Windlord and that other eagle could fetch Frodo and Sam off Mount Doom at the end, why didn't Gandalf just give the Ring to them? I mean, they could have flapped over to Mordor in about an hour and a half, dropped the Ring into the Crack of Doom, and made it back in time for dinner." 

The reaction was swift and shocking. Emos who had been docile and soft-spoken began a systematic campaign of abuse against Niblick, hiding his pentagram-themed jewelry, slightly crumpling his posters of Orlando Bloom, and even mussing his painstakingly straightened and dyed fringe.  

Pushed beyond his emo limits, Niblick was finally removed to an emo protection programme, where he completed an apprenticeship in running comic shops. Four emo youths were charged with being, like, way harsh, and were sentenced to having to kiss a real girl, like totally on the mouth and everything.