JOHANNESBURG. Cosatu secretary general, Zwelinzima Vavi, was reportedly the inspiration for the minor seismic activity experienced in Gauteng on Saturday night, with geologists suggesting the tremors were caused as former Prime Minister HF Verwoerd turned in his grave.
Verwoerd was reportedly moved by Vavi’s statement that life under the current ANC government was similar to that under his rule.
Vavi’s comments were sparked by the the ANC’s proposed ban on unions in the army, and the comparison was not received favourably by either the government or followers of Verwoerd.
In a rare public statement issued from a black-proof bunker somewhere beneath Springs, a spokesperson for the far right, Retief Bittereinde, said that while the current regime probably wished they were as efficient and ruthless as Verwoerd’s government there was simply no comparison.
“Under the rule of Mr. Verwoerd, everything was banned,” said Bittereinde. “There were no exceptions.”
Bittereinde said ridiculous concepts, like freedom of association and expression, jobs and education for black people or democracy, would never have been tolerated in Verwoerd’s day.
“In the old days the only black people in the army were used for target practice,” said Bittereinde.
“There’s no way that the ANC government can possibly be compared to Verwoerd’s,” he said.
Meanwhile a spokesperson for the ANC, Quietdiplomacy Vulindaba, said that while the ANC were uncomfortable with the comparison, they were willing to look the other way and allow their alliance partner to get away with it.
“Vavi is looking to win votes,” he said, “And when rhetoric includes Verwoerd’s name and a reminder of what it was like under his rule, you are guaranteed to score big.
“That’s why Cosatu is a strategic partner,” said Vulindaba. “Any votes they take from us, we get straight back.”
Asked if Vavi’s comparison was not akin to calling Winston Churchill a Nazi, Vulindaba said it definitely wasn’t. “Churchill didn’t do very much for democracy in Africa,” he said.
