PRETORIA. President Jacob Zuma has defended Julius Malema’s call for genocide, saying that the ANC will widen its repertoire soon with the release of new songs calling for various minorities to be slaughtered. He confirmed that the list, based on Malema’s personal terrors, would include cross-dressing dwarves, mime artistes and girls.
Malema’s singing last week of a witty struggle-era cantata entitled ‘Kill the boers, they are rapists’ triggered a nationwide outcry, with some whites tentatively suggesting that reconciliation might not be best served by senior members of the ruling party singing songs calling for the extermination of racial minorities.
However this morning the President repeated his defence of Malema and the song, saying that South African minorities needed to “lighten up” and see the fun, educational and nation-building side of genocide.
But, he said, if whites insisted on feeling paranoid, they would soon be reassured by the ANC’s new line in hate-mongering songs that would “spread some of the hate around” and take the spotlight off them.
“It’s some of Comrade Julius’s best work,” he explained. “We gave him an Etch-A-Sketch and asked him to brainstorm up a list of everything and everyone he hates.”
Zuma said Malema’s initial list had consisted of 230 pet hates, ranging from girls who giggle behind his back and SterriStumpies that have “gone siff” to counterfeit Rolexes and dwarves in fishnet stockings.
He said that Malema had finally whittled the list down to a shortlist of “exciting and new scapegoats”.
“Jews, gypsies, gays and intellectuals are so 20th century,” explained Zuma. “Comrade Julius has reinvented the classic pogrom and transformed it into something really quite special.”
He said the new list contained 20 minorities who were “uber-niche”.
“Julius is particularly frightened of dwarves in fishnet stockings with husky voices and bedroom eyes,” said Zuma. “Them, and mime artistes. He wants to stand them up against an invisible wall and machine-gun them.”
Asked if he was simply resorting to an ancient strategy of racist rabble-rousing against minorities to distract attention away from rampant government corruption and incompetence, Zuma said, “This World Cup will be the best ever!” before handing out free tickets and loaves of bread.
He also had a stern warning for racists, counterrevolutionaries, honest tax collectors, incorruptible judges, hard-working taxpayers who go work every day, and other subversive enemies of the state.
“Some people say that the liberation struggle ended 16 years ago and that it is time to stop polarising black and white,” he said.
“They say the ANC won 70 percent of the votes and that instead of trying to secure power and enrich itself, it should use its mandate and actually try running the country.
“To these people I say: Julius knows where you live.”
